Everyone wants to enjoy their wedding day, there’s a lot of time and effort that goes into planning and making it happen. But at most weddings things happen that you couldn’t plan for, or that just don’t work out the way you had wanted them to. Mostly they’re small things, but these are the little details that can stress out a bride or put a damper on the experience of getting married. So I want to share with you some advice I was given for my own wedding that made my day so much more enjoyable, and that is to have a “Designated Fixer.”
Being the bride, you make most of the decisions leading up to the big day, so it’s a natural tendency when you get to your big day to keep making the decisions. But for most brides, the best way to actually enjoy the whirlwind of your wedding day is to sit back and let someone else make any last minute decision or fix any problems that arise.
On my wedding day, that person was my sister-in-law, who is a project manager and quick thinker. We told her the basics of what we wanted to happen and then directed everyone to her as the contact person for the day. As a result of doing that, I had a fantastic time, and was completely unaware of several hiccups, including the reception venue not being set up when the guests were arriving. She rallied some people to fix it, and called us to suggest getting some photos nearby the venue before arriving, because they were just “finalising some things inside.” I was oblivious to the mad rush of putting out a dance floor, arranging the decor and getting the food and drinks ready…I just was chilling outside getting some lovely waterfront photos. I found out about all this weeks later, and was able to laugh about it, instead of feeling stressed about it on the day.
So, if this is something you decide to do, when choosing a “Designated Fixer” remember the following:
1. Don’t let your mum do it. Or his. A lot of mums are naturally going to want to fix and do things on the day, but you don’t want them to miss out on the important moments because they were off at the shops stocking up the beer or transferring the bride and groom’s bags to the car they’ll be leaving in later. The Bridal Party are not a good option either, because they need to be available for the bride and groom and around them most of the day.
2. Choose someone you’re confident in making decisions for you. At our wedding, my Fixer had the budget rundown and was given the final say to the venue on increasing tabs etc. She also knew us well enough to know what we would likely want, and when it would be better to check with us first.
3. Make sure they’re good problem solvers and that they feel confident to do what they need to if necessary. There’s no point having a go-to person if that person is going to come check with you anyway because they’re not sure if they can make decisions for you.
4. Go with someone who you know would like to do it. My Fixer was used to running events and was more than happy to use her skills to be a part of our day this way. If your aunty is a highly-strung stresser already she’s probably not going to enjoy the day if she has this responsibility (even if she doesn’t even end up having to do anything!)
And remember, if you choose a Designated Fixer, let them do their role. You need to choose to let go and just be the bride, knowing that someone else is taking care of things now. The day goes by so quickly, so be present and enjoy it, and leave the fixing to someone else.